1. Someone who gets super excited to nap with you.
2. Someone who can read the difference between your grunts that mean "I'm fine I just don't feel like talking" and your grunts that involve "I'm struggling with something, but I'm too stubborn to admit that I need to talk about it."
3. Someone who can, and will, quote Disney Channel Original Movies with you.
4. Someone who will eat pizza with you for breakfast.
5. Someone who always laughs with you, specifically in the moments when you are absolute. Not. Supposed. To. Be. Laughing. Because. This. Is. Serious.
6. Someone who will remind you not to forget your leftovers at the restaurant, because they have their damn priorities straight.
7. Someone who won't judge you when you've had a tiring week, and you consequently spend all of Saturday laying in your bed like lard.
8. Someone who will use a pet name like "Tina, you fat lard" rather than "honey" or "sweetie pie."
9. Someone who considers 'cereal' an acceptable choice for dinner.
10. Someone who will still love you even after you order onions on your burger and you smell bad afterwards.
11. Someone who will build a fort with you on a Saturday afternoon.
12. Someone who gets super punch-drunk and goofy with you when you're exhausted.
13. Someone who is the Jim to your Pam or the Pam to your Jim.
14. Someone who says "one more" after you've already binge-watched six hours of a tv show.
15. Someone who puts the cap back on the toothpaste so that you don't have to break up with them.
16. Someone who feels the same way you do about the Oxford comma.
17. Someone who wouldn't be weirded out if you walked by a pet store and then decided it was necessary to go inside and hold the puppies immediately.
18. Someone who will tell you that you're a weirdo and will say it like it's the best compliment they could ever give anyone.
19. Someone who won't murder you after you hit 'snooze' on your alarm eight times.
20. Someone who will say "Oh my God I've wondered the same thing" when you share one of your most reliable, most bizarre thoughts with them.
21. Someone who will put sunscreen on your back even though it's the worst.
22. Someone who will not shame you for watching Bachelor in Paradise.
23. Someone who will watch Bachelor in Paradise WITH you while drinking an $8 bottle of wine from Walgreens.
24. Someone who is all about doing breakfast for dinner together.
25. Someone who has your favourite takeout order memorized, down to the number of ketchup packets required.
26. Someone who knows exactly how many minutes it will take before you are ready to speak in the morning.
27. Someone who will sort of judge you when you message them from the other room yet who will likewise regard it because sluggish.
28. Someone who will grab two spoons and eat something, anything, right out of the jar/carton/box with you.
29. Someone who has your hangover cure down to a science.
30. Someone who discloses to you that there's nothing hotter than your versatile belt was running pants. Since by the day's end, that is the fantasy.
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